One of my focus words for 2022 is discipline, and geez, staying disciplined is a daily practice and something that I’ve realized can be really hard. I chose this word because I knew I wanted to complete two marathons this year (first one is in 13 weeks!), and I knew that the training takes a lot of time, dedication and discipline. I know the payoff when I cross the finish line will be worth it, but creating a habit of discipline has been hard. To be honest, this past week was the first time I actually stuck to my prescribed training schedule, which culminated on Saturday with running/walking 10 miles. Some miles, I felt great. Others, I cried. But I knew that no matter how long it took me, I’d hit 10 miles. But that’s just the first of many long runs to come over the next three months. When I look at my training schedule that is hanging in my bedroom, I just repeat “You got this, Amelia. You have discipline. It will be worth it.” But y’all, I am not fast and running is hard for me. This is a challenge for me, yet I know it is strengthening me in ways I haven’t even seen yet. But discipline is not easy.
It’s not just discipline with my race training that is hard – it’s also with creating and maintaining self-care habits and making sure I’m listening to my body when it needs rest. I usually like to be on the go most days, seeing friends for dinner or happy hour. But my training schedule is like the angel/devil on my shoulders whispering “you have a run tomorrow…don’t eat too many tatter tots…maybe switch to water after this next cervasa royale”. That little voice of discipline is giving me annoying hugs to remind me to yes, have fun, but also slow your jets if you have a big run the next day (or even if you don’t). It’s also telling me that it’s ok to lay on the couch with your dogs on a Sunday and watch two movies and binge watch a show. That’s part of discipline – getting the rest you need. Giving yourself the physical and mental rest to continue to focus on your vision for 2022.
I’ll be honest – when I sat down to write tonight, I was thinking how I’m trying to develop a habit of writing more and how this blog post was going to earn me a checked box on my habit tracker. (I know I’m not the only person who makes to-do lists just to get the satisfaction of checking things off.) I wanted to write about discipline and it’s actually harder than I thought it’d be to write about. I don’t think I’m great at it but I want to be. I want to prioritize my health more and create better eating habits – that takes discipline. I want to write more because I want to become a writer – that takes discipline. What also takes practice is cutting myself some slack when I’m not as disciplined as I want to be. I’m my worst critic and I tend to get really down on myself. But if discipline is connected to habit forming and routine making (which I’m pretty sure it is), I also need to put some discipline towards my self-talk and remind myself to be kind to me.
Though I feel like I’ve rambled on and on during this post, I know it’s all part of creating better habits for myself and for working towards my goals, whether it’s about running, eating or writing. I want the voice of discipline to be a closer friend of mine. And that’s a friendship that I’m growing daily, as I continue to press on.
Pressing On 