Patience is a virtue, and it’s one that I’m still working on. Well, let’s be real – I’ll probably be working on my patience for the rest of my life. And that’s ok. But I have so many times where I just want things to be different, I want the things I’ve been waiting on to come to fruition already. C’mon Father Time – be on my side!
These last two years, and really the last seven years to be honest, have been what seems like the ultimate waiting game. I was waiting to get pregnant. I was waiting to see the doctor. I was waiting for week 10 to arrive. I was waiting for the pain to pass. I was waiting for him to come home. I was waiting for the hard things to get better. And I’m still waiting – trying to be patient. Patiently waiting for my person to find me, for my family to grow. But on the daily, I feel like sometimes I wait anxiously for a response, for the right swipe, for the text that eventually turns into a ghost.
When I see other’s progress and what seems like they have the perfect life (house, ring, kid), I get stuck in the impatiently waiting over and over. When will it be my turn? When will I find happiness? When will my patience pay off? When, when, when? How much more time must go by, how much more healing needs to take place? Then, I remind myself – “Patience, grasshopper. Trust the timing of your life.”
“Trust the timing of your life”. Repeat after me. “Trust the timing of your life.” Again – until you believe it. Because it is the truth. And though there are days where my patience in the timing is at 0%, I try to come back to the present and remind myself that everyone’s timing and paths are different, including mine. Comparing my life journey and timing to someone else’s doesn’t help me move forward; it keeps me stuck in the past and not looking ahead. Do I wish some of the things in my life were different? Sure, who doesn’t. Do I wish the healing and growth could go faster? Sure do. But it’s ok that it’s not. The timing of my life, even though my patience gets tested, is exactly how it should be. And all I can do is press on, one day/week/month at a time.
Pressing On 