I love tattoos. I love that they can represent someone or something or some experience and can become symbols and reminders. For me, my five tattoos each represent a piece of me, a piece of my life. And let me tell you, they are fairly addictive.
My first tattoo is a small inch-size Jesus fish on the top of my right foot. I got this tattoo two days after turning 18 years old. I wasn’t much of a rebel in high school, so of course, I called my parents to get permission before getting my first ink. I was extremely involved in my church youth group and Young Life, and I wanted something which represented that involvement. I loved it then and still love it today.
Flash forward 12 years to my second tattoo. In April 2016, about seven months after our 3rd miscarriage, I completed my first full marathon, something I never thought I’d do in my whole life. It was after 5 months of training, long Saturday runs, and lots of sweat and tears that I crossed the finish line. I knew I wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate that day and that achievement. My cousin had given me a “XXVI.II” charm bracelet that came with the quote “She believed she could, so she did…” and I just fell in love with that saying. It perfectly described my marathon experience. So in May 2016, I got my second tattoo – the phrase “She believed she could, so she did…” on the inside of my left foot.
After suffering our 5th miscarriage, I decided to get my third tat – this time with my cousin/bestie, Lizzie. We had thrown around the idea of getting matching tattoos, always joking about it after a couple of drinks. But finally we searched Pinterest, Instagram and Google until we found the perfect symbol for our matching tats – a directional arrow. Like a compass mixed with an arrow. Throughout my years of infertility, Lizzie has been there for me every step of the way. She has a strength and source of knowledge and support for me, and getting matching tattoos showed our connected support. And it would be her first tattoo. The compassed arrow, as we call it, symbolizes strength through challenging times and that we can rely on each other for love and support. An arrow must be pulled back before it can move forward and fly. And since we live across the state from each other, our arrows are compassed towards each other – mine faces east and hers faces west. Mine is on my ribs on the right side, and hers is on the right side of her back. It is unique, personal, and the experience of getting the tattoos brought us even closer.
My husband Nate and I had always talked about getting tattoos – my tattoo obsession was going strong and he had been wanting one for a while. To symbolize our 5th pregnancy’s due date, we decided to get “matching” tattoos that reminded us to keep moving forward, that our story wasn’t over, and to press on. On November 8, 2017, we both took off work to remember and honor our due date for our loss that previous April. We cried, talked and called the tattoo parlor. Nate wanted three dime size dots on his left arm and I wanted a semi-colon on my left wrist. Both the … and ; represent the same message for us – that our infertility journey, our story, our life wasn’t over. It keeps going. This tattoo, and the experience getting it with my husband on such a somber and personally significant day, is an experience I am thankful for, one that I’ll never forget.
My most recent tattoo is inspired by my mom and grandmother. When my mom and I end a text or message conversation, we sign it “xxoo”. As my mom saw my tattoo obsession growing, she said she wanted to get some ink for her 70th birthday. Of course I was all in. So in January 2018, I took my mom to get her first tattoo – “xxoo” written in my grandmother’s (her mom’s) handwriting. We both got it on our right wrists. And we love it. It is something so unique and special and I know it meant a lot to my mom. It meant the world to me.
As you can see, I love to get ink. I know people say they would never get a tattoo because they don’t know what they’d want or if they’d still like their tattoo years later. I think tattoos can represent who you are in this moment in time and can help you find closure or to process through challenging and exciting experiences alike. All of my tattoos are daily visual reminders of my strength, my faith, my family and my ability to overcome and thrive.
Pressing On 